A Crappy Day...Literally

Once upon a time, I used to sit in my plush office at the TV network and daydream about what it would be like to spend the week days at home with my kids.  I wouldn't feel stressed about pilot shoot schedules, replacing a director, or worry about the nervous-breakdown an executive producer was having on-set.  My focus all day would be on my children --- we'd read books together, sing songs, pick flowers, and delight in each other's love and affection throughout the day.

Then, my daydream came true.  Sort of.  And reality set in about what it's really like to be a work-at-home mom.

Today, after the baby's morning nap, I was gathering our belongings so we wouldn't be late for a play-date.

As I packed up the diapers, wipes, extra clothes, etc. I smelled poop.  My first question, "Joaquin, did you go poo-poo?"

He immediately responds, "No, Roo did."

In disbelief, (this one was a stinker,) I checked his Pull-Up, and low and behold, he was telling the truth.  No poo!

On to Devereux.  She passed the poop check, too, with a clean diaper.

Hmm, I immediately decide someone must have stepped in dog-doodie outside.  Everyone's shoes were clean.

Then I see our Australian Shepherd George, sheepishly walking through the living room.  I catch a glimpse of his back side and find a tangled mess of blue merle hair covered in, well you guessed it---CRAP!  Ugh.  The poor dog clearly had an upset stomach, I only wish he had the courtesy to deal with his issues outside.

I quarantined him in the kitchen so I could deal with the mess he'd already made in the living room, when I realized the dog standing in the kitchen was only making a bigger mess as gravity was working its magic... An elephant-like turd falls from I-don't-even-know-where and lands on the floor.  (Sorry for the grossness here, but I need to vent about this.  I am getting queasy just reliving the moment.)

George was banished to the backyard until I could clean him up properly and trim a bunch of hair from his rear-end.  First I had to make sure there were no traces of poop anywhere in the house.   Now that the baby is crawling, of course she inches her way towards the poo spots first.  Floors disinfected?  Check.

Cut to later in the day.  We return home from our play date and I accept my fate that it's time to finish round 2 of George clean up, which means a full bath for the dog and a hair cut.

Joaquin goes down for his nap and suddenly I smell that familiar smell of yuck again.  Did I miss some of George's mess from earlier in the day?

No, this time it was the baby, who thanks to being a great eater of solids, had made a complete mess of her brand-new car seat.  Awesome.  Poor baby had a "poo-splosion" as we call them in our house and she needed attention immediately....

So, yes, sometimes shit happens once.  But sometimes, if you're really lucky, shit happens twice.

And you deal with it.  You clean it up and move on.

And fortunately, I love my dogs and kids so much that all this crap really doesn't seem like much of a big deal at the end of the day.

However, I'd be lying if I didn't admit to having some moments where I sit at home, day-dreaming about what it would be like to spend an entire day in an office...reading scripts, taking phone calls, giving notes on an outline to a producer...and to not have anyone else's literal "crap" to clean up. (wink, wink.)

Whiplash, Vomit, & My Mother-in-Law

(written Wednesday, July 18)

Yesterday was one of those exceptional days.  While driving on the 101 Freeway, we were rear-ended, driving around 30 mph.  Getting in a wreck with your kids in the car is an entirely different headache then when you're alone.  This was my first time getting hit on the freeway (fortunately) and what was scarier I think than the actual impact was trying to get out of the way without getting hit again.

First of all, thank goodness we are all fine, and other than some tears and a wrecked car, there was no permanent damage.

In the moment immediately following the crash, the kids both started crying because the crash made a loud noise, and the dog was thrown from the front seat to the floor.  (If anyone has whiplash, she's going to have it the worst because she was given the biggest jolt.  Poor Coco!)  My maternal instincts were to go to my babies (2 1/2 & 8 months) and hold them, telling them they're fine and every thing's going to be fine.  But of course you can't do that on the freeway.  So they continued to cry...

While on the phone with 911, a tow truck driver came to "rescue us" as Joaquin says.  We finally get from the fast lane to the shoulder on the right side, both kids are sobbing, and of course now I have to get out to exchange information with the Toyota truck driver that hit us.  And both kids are still crying...

The rest of the story is not that exciting...I was in shock, the kids were still crying, I would tell Joaquin "everything is fine," and then he would tell Devereux "Everything is fine, Roo.  Don't cry...." through his own tears.

When we finally arrived back at home in Pasadena, all I wanted to do was lay on the couch and try to relax, or maybe even soak in a tub, but that clearly wasn't going to happen.  I had to put aside my own shock and nerves and tend to making sure they were happy and feeling comfortable again.

Once the kids were in bed around 8:00, I felt relieved that I would finally be able to relax.  Quickly I learned that wasn't going to happen.  One of them was up every hour, including Joaquin coughing so much around 11:00 pm that he threw-up all over the place....

My mother-in-law is visiting because Kiko is at the air force base, and while she was great and trying to help, of course all he wanted was Mama in his middle-of-the-night coughing/vomit fest.  Awesome.  I no sooner got him cleaned up, back to bed, and then it was Devereux that needed attention.

Anyhow, the rest of the details are nothing exciting; just gets chalked up to one of those parenting nights where Mom doesn't sleep.  A lot of things change when you have kids.  Your reaction to a fender-bender is no exception.  Again I am so glad we are all okay...and now I am rocking a mini-van as my rental car until our car is fixed.  Jury is out about how I feel about the mini-van, but it definitely gets the job done for now...

Week 2

Okay, so I've slacked on the updates but the Great Leopard experiment continues. I kicked off week 2 with a bang in this newly acquired leopard sweater.


I took the kids to the newly reopened Natural History Museum with a friend and her 3 little kids. The kids loved it and we laughed to ourselves when, while viewing the coyote display, my friend's daughter was so excited because there were bunnies AND coyotes in the same diorama; she proclaimed, "Look, Mommy! The coyote has a bunny in its mouth. How cute!" Ah, childhood naïveté. Why spoil her excitement with a lesson in harsh reality? We immediately moved on to the more inviting raccoon display. The best part of the day personally was that since it was the MLK holiday and Kiko was home from work, I was able to sneak in a Cardio Barre class. Man, I am out of shape, but it still felt amazing to have an hour to myself and to get a great workout in. I like to think the sweater helped motivate me to workout. Day 9 was a zebra underwear day, and day 10 I kicked it up a notch with some kick-ass leopard boots I forgot were in my closet.


These were some hand-me-downs from my mom and help me put an extra spring in my step. When you live in the city, you can't take yourself too seriously when you're wearing leopard boots. Days 11 & 12 were animal underwear days... - Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Days 5, 6 & 7

These last three days, I've taken the easy way out with my animal attire. Two days in a row I wore a thin leopard print headband from J. Crew, but I only wore it while running errands because when I wear headbands for too long, I get a headache. I also realize that leopard headbands (or any animal-print-accessories) seem to demand that the rest of my outfit be plain, which can get a little boring.

I am hoping to spice things up next week and branch out from my headband rut. I did discover that I have more animal-print underwear then I realized, so this may be my go-to clothing item for the next few weeks. When I have animal undies on, I can wear anything from a dress to workout clothes over them, and they are a nice, personal reminder to be fierce and fabulous, if only in my head.

Day 4

Wednesday I wore animal print underwear again...I forgot to take a picture of them before I put them on, and as a matter of principle, won't take a picture of them after taking them off, so you'll have to use your imagination. (Note - most of my readers are female so this is not meant to be exciting.)

They were black and white zebra undies with hot pink lace trim. Totally classy.

Nothing notable happened while wearing them, but it was day 3 of preschool for my son. He cried again at drop-off, but he seems very happy when I pick him up 3 hours later so we'll continue on with his preschool education...for now.

I was also able to get a little work done on an outline for a new script I'm writing, so that's 1 point for zebra undies.

Day 3

Today, my leopard item was


underwear. I only felt fierce and sexy in them for about 15 seconds when I was putting them on. The rest of the day I forgot I about them. I did not remember them when I was at the playground, or when the baby was spitting up all over the new shirt my mother gave me for my birthday. Oh well...maybe I need to wear visible leopard or there is no point. I was also thinking I should take a gander at the Kardashians' clothing line at Sears. I am sure there are some quality animal print items in that collection, right? - Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Animal Print Experiment - Day 2

Today I wore some lady-like bejeweled Tory Burch leopard flats. Who doesn't love a little blinged-out leopard every now and then? Actually, I bought them in Vegas so at the time, they seemed subdued.

These shoes don't really make me feel ferocious, especially because I usually just wear them with jeans and a white t-shirt. And after a while they hurt my feet, which in my mind, totally defeats the purpose of wearing flats. If my feet are going to hurt, I might as well wear high heels.

But today, after dropping Joaquin off at pre-school someone cut me off and turned left in front of me, nearly causing an accident, and so I flipped them off. Yes, I gave this a-hole the finger while honking at the same time. And it felt kind of good. Maybe being an angry driver is not a positive thing to come out of this experiment, but at least I tried to unleash something on that jack-ass behind the wheel.

It was certainly some un-lady like behavior for some very lady-like shoes...