Hop on Pop

Since about 15 weeks into the pregnancy, my hubby and I have enjoyed reading to the baby at bedtime. Even though we were doing this before his ears developed, it's been a nice routine and gives us a chance to try out our different silly and dramatic voices which will surely entertain him once he enters the world!

Last night, we read our current favorite book, Dr. Seuss' beloved "Hop on Pop," and the little monkey was kicking like a can-can dancer in my tummy. Maybe it's the rhyming of the words, or maybe it's the vibrations of Kiko's deep voice, but whatever it was, he was really hot on Pop's storytelling skills.

Hopefully soon, Kiko will actually be able to feel him kicking when he places his hand on my bump...ah, there are so many milestones worth waiting for in life and pregnancy...

Pink or Blue?

Woohoo...we found out last week, on July 2nd, that our little peapod is a BOY!

Of course, we'd be thrilled either way and just want it to be healthy, but it is wonderful to know that there is a little man growing inside of me now. I just hope some day I have a little girl so this little boy has someone (other than his mom) to protect.

Bumptastic?

My man has been urging me to take a photo of my belly so we can chart the progress, and I have to say in the beginning I really wasn't into it, because really, it just looked like a full stomach after a big, delicious meal.

But now that I am starting to "pop," I kind of wish I gave in to his urges because it really is amazing to see the changes my body is going through.

We'll see if he convinces me to do it...

Walk A Mile in Another Man's Shoes

I am curious what shoes YOU are wearing today? If you feel it in your SOUL, send me a pic of what your shoes look like today.

Tuesday's Shoes

Tuesday's Shoes:

Black patent Michael Kors Wedges with striped cork sole.

These are usually quite comfortable, but I walked to the mall during a quick lunch today and the black patent on the sole got so hot from the friction of my feet.

Now I am starting to bring 2 pairs of shoes to work everyday: a pair of flats and a pair of heels.

Wednesday's Shoes

Oh, and today's shoes are black patent pumps with contrasting white trim. I am avoiding the flats as much as I can...and I am loving my pink toes.

Finding out the Sex...or Not?

"To find out the baby's sex or not to find out the baby's sex"...that is the question.

We always said if we were lucky enough to get pregnant, that we'd want the gender to be a surprise at birth. It felt to my husband and me like this might be one of life's last great surprises...and then, I got pregnant...and something changed.

I HAD to know what was inside me. I needed to know just as much as the doctors knew about my growing baby, and learning the sex before the birth is just part of the information we now can have, thanks to modern medicine.

I did feel a little guilty reneging on the deal my husband and I made, saying we'd wait and let it be a surprise. But I really did realize that the reason I was okay with it being a surprise was because I always thought we'd have a boy first. I don't know why it is, but I just have always pictured us with a little boy. Of course, I'd love to be lucky enough to have a girl someday, too. I am very close with my own mom, and plus, I think girls take care of their moms when they get old. So yes, for purely selfish reasons, I hope I someday have a little girl, but I've always, always always pictured our first baby having a weenie. So I thought, "Okay, let's not find out the gender. Because it's going to be a boy, anyway."

Secretly, for the past couple of years, I have been stashing away baby boy clothing that I find on clearance sale, and my husband has already started a sizeable collection of Star Wars, Lakers, & Dodgers onesies, which I have already informed him will be "bedazzled" if indeed we find out we're having a girl.

So now that we are about a week away from finding out the gender, I cannot contain my excitement. And of course, after all my preconceived ideas that we'd spawn a male child first, for some reason, I keep thinking this one might just be a girl. But therein lies the fun of not knowing yet --- even though we are not waiting until delivery day to learn which public restroom our baby will have to use, finding out next week will be a big surprise, too! And as I am quickly reminded by other new parent friends "Trust me, there are enough surprises that come with a new born that overshadow the surprise of which gender box they'll check."

I think everyone has to choose what's right for them, and who knows? Maybe with the second one, we'll decide to be patient and not find out until d-day. However for now, I am just giddy with excitement to find out what it is. We have already picked out our nursery bedding options, and depending on what it is, we will pull the trigger and make the purchase and then we can really get started on our dream nursery. And I really think I'll connect with the baby more once I know all there is to know about it at this stage.

Apparently, there is a new over-the-counter test from CVS drugs that can detect the baby's gender with an 80% accuracy rate. I just found out about this last week, otherwise, if it was earlier in the pregnancy, I just might have forked over the $35 for a chance to find out earlier...Then I realized, that's at least 1/3 of the cost of the Burberry jacket I am saving up to buy for my baby...boy? Or girl? Oh who knows, either one will both look smashing in it!

Plus, at this point if I can't even have the patience to wait one more week to find out, then I'll never be able to wait the whole 9 months...

Red Shoes

Today, the shoes are red patent, low-heeled pumps. They are uber comfortable and help me with the Monday Blues because just looking at their bright color makes me happy. The pink toe nails are a little too Valentines Day-ish, but I have to roll with it.

We had a wonderful Father's Day weekend, but now I feel very tired. It was special to see my dad and my father-in-law in the same day, although our visits never seem long enough.

I wish everyone a great start to their week and will be writing more soon...

Now Showing --- my bump!

Well, I think I am officially showing...Passerbys on the street might think I just downed a few too many Sam Adams last night, but I know better. What I am rockin' is not a beer belly, a one-two many milkshakes belly, or just some extra fat (although I am sure there is some of that, too), but rather it is a tummy with a baby inside. Weird...

Getting dressed for work in the morning is starting to be a challenge because my regular clothes are getting tight and my maternity clothes are still too big. I am sure this won't be the case for long.

I have just discovered Old Navy Maternity clothes --- and while I have yet to try any on, they seem to have a great selection and are affordable. I also love browsing at the gorgeous maternity clothes at Twilite Moon and Isabella Oliver, but these are a bit pricier and part of my nesting instincts is a new found frugality. (Sorry, hubby, but this probably won't last after the little baby arrives...or maybe it will...we do have to pay to raise this child, after all?)

Anyhow, I thought since this blog is called "Shoe-zen" I would post frequently what shoes I am wearing, just for fun. Today's shoes are not very exciting at all, but they are comfortable, trusty black pumps made of faux snake skin. The say you can't really know someone till you've walked around in their shoes for a while, so here's the next best thing to wearing my shoes - checking them out!

Thoughts on being pregnant...

Is it weird that I sometimes forget that I am pregnant? I mean, can this really be happening? Is there really something growing inside of me? Just writing the words "I am pregnant" feels so strange and unreal.

It makes me wonder, at what point will it feel real? When will I really feel like a bona fide mom-to-be? Will it be when the first visible sign of a bump starts to appear? Or will it be the first time I feel my wee one kick, a possible sign that a mini-Beckham is growing inside of me? (Secretly, I am hoping for a Tiger, Kobe, or A Rod because I much prefer watching golf, basketball, or baseball to soccer….but of course, that’s not up to me…) I really want to know when it will sink in because right now all I feel is tired, hungry, and oh, did I mention exhausted?
I am cutting myself some slack, because after all, by some miracle called life, I am making another human. I joke with my husband sometimes when he gets home from work, “How was your day, honey?” I tease. “What did you do today?”

He answers with some pat answer, and I respond, “Oh, really, because I made some toes.”

All joking aside, it really is amazing that all this is going on inside me and I have little to do with it. Other than eating right (isn’t ice cream a grand source of calcium), exercising (online shopping can burn up to 100 calories an hour – more if you use Ebay), and trying to get as much rest as possible, I am taking a back-seat to what Mother Nature has been doing for centuries. It’s like being on pro-creation autopilot. I know there are a lot of maneuvers happening beneath the hood, and though I am in the driver’s seat, I may as well be asleep at the wheel because my body is just doing its thang. You go, Mother Nature. Let me know when I need to push or do something else strenuous…but until then, I get to be along for the ride as new changes happen everyday for my growing baby.

I have a new sense of calm and peace, and while my life is not perfect, I am making a baby and nothing can feel more significant in my life than that right now. The fact that my husband might be sent away for 4 months for work, or the fact that one of my huge projects at my job might get pushed until the month I am due, well I can’t really worry about those things right now, can I? Normally both of those predicaments might send me into a frenzy, but now what good is the stress going to do me? All I can do is wait until I know for sure what is happening and then deal with the situations as they arise.

But what I do try to deal with on daily basis are the new and constant changes my body is going through, like my acne-of-a-6th grader, my expanding waist, and my uncomfortable stomach pains due to the digestion problem-of-the-day.

So far, I have been blessed not to have bad morning sickness or any other dramatic health problem. I realize what I have is a gift and I am intent on not taking it for granted.

The first week I knew I was expecting, I think I listened to Maxwell’s “This Woman’s Work” about three dozen times on repeat. I needed to hear a song like that to help me focus in hopes that the reality of the situation would hit me. But the truth is, even when my belly is so big I can’t see my own feet, or when the baby is kicking so much in my tummy I feel like it deserves to be grounded for acting with such aggression, I still feel like none of it will actually seem believable until I am in the delivery room, trying to bring this tiny baby into the world…and when I feel those contractions and hear that tiny cry, that is I imagine when it will feel so real I won’t even remember the acne, exhaustion, or feelings of some surreal creature existing inside me…it will finally feel…real.

Joy Feast Love

This is a picture of my fabulous writers' group, The Joy Feast Club, at Tula's wedding. We need a blond in the group, no?

Baby's First Wedding

On Saturday, Peapod attended her first wedding. Our dear friends, Tula & Steve, wed in style at the hip Marvimon House in downtown Los Angeles.

We enjoyed a delicious Chinese banquet and had a splendid time with close friends, eating, laughing and dancing all while celebrating the marriage of a couple very much in love. Watching others drink wine was a bit torturous for me in my condition, but I did steal a few whiffs here and there. Also, it felt so crazy to dance with a little person inside of me. When my moves got a little rough, it felt like I had a swallowed a submarine sandwich whole and it was just rocking back and forth in my belly. Weird! The bride has a very cool design blog of her own, www.whorange.net, so you can get a sense of the wonderful & stylish vibe of the wedding.

Memorial Day Weekend

We enjoyed a nice holiday weekend in town for a change.  A lot has happened in the past year.  A year ago today, we were on a plane headed for Tokyo, and then to Hawaii to celebrate our first anniversary.  Now, we are sticking much closer to home - saving money we'd spend on flights and vacations for our little pea pod and trying to nest as much as possible.  It still feels so early to start getting the nursery ready, but there is a lot of home organization that I need to take care of before the tiny infant arrives.  

Luckily, this weekend I was able to make some headway cleaning out my closets and our desk area.  Those that know me well know I am a bit of a pack rat, especially when it comes to sentimental items or clothes.  If it still fits, it's just hard to get rid of, but I am getting more ruthless lately and my "to donate" pile of clothes is growing everyday,  possibly thanks to the pregnancy nesting hormones.  

We wanted to make sure we had some fun this weekend, too.  On Sunday morning, we enjoyed brunch at Duke's in Malibu with our friends, Justin and Kelly.  We were so excited to learn that Kelly is actually pregnant with her first baby, too, and she is due about a month before me, so naturally we had tons to talk about Sunday morning.  Sitting by the water at Duke's, eating waffles and fresh fruit and trying to spot dolphins in the Pacific was a great way to spend the morning and made me appreciate living in Southern California.

Palm Springs for Jessica's Birthday

This photo was taken last weekend in Palm Springs.  Kiko and I ventured to Palm Springs on Saturday for our friend Jessica's 30th birthday celebration.  Some day we'll tell pea pod about the wild and crazy party it attended while in utero, but I think we'll save the full story until it's in college.  I actually managed to stay out until midnight which was amazing, and it was wonderful seeing some friends I hadn't seen in a while...and since I was one of the only sober ones, I can now fill them all in on everything that happened that they might not remember...

I think this picture makes me look more "pregnant" than I really am.  Kiko is urging me to take photos of my belly, but I haven't given in yet...I am sure by the time I really "pop," I'll regret not documenting what I looked like before...we'll see...

Dado

Today is the anniversary of my maternal Grandmother's death. We called her "Dado," (pronounced dad-oh) and even though the name sounds similar to "dad," she was 100% lady. My oldest brother, Robbie, named her that when he was about 2 years old and the name stuck. I never knew her as anything else. Even friends and neighbors that had known her for years referred to her as Dado.

I could write for days about her and what she meant to me, but for some reason, now that I have a little person growing inside of me, I find myself thinking about her more and more in a different way than ever before. She was so many things to so many different people, but at her core she was a true southern woman who just wanted to make those around her happy. She brought me so much joy as a child and always made me feel special. It was a gift to spend time with her because she showered me and her other grandchildren with attention. One of my favorite activities we did together was making doll hats out of Styrofoam cups. It was a simple, and probably highly toxic process: we'd melt the Styrofoam cups in the oven until the bottoms of the cups curled up like little hat brims, then we'd dig into her sewing box for scraps of ribbon, silk flowers, loose sequins, buttons, and other treasures. Each hat we'd make would be unique and I don't know what was more fun - making them with her or putting them on my dolls later to admire our handy work and creativity.

We also loved making mud-pies (out of dirt, not coffee ice cream), doing Shrinky-Dinks, playing the piano, watching "The Fall Guy," and taking outings to the 99-cent store, Fed Co, and Mc Donald's. She sewed doll clothes for all my dolls, got me hooked on cream cheese on raisin bread sandwiches and used to get mad at me when I'd say, "I have to pee."

Her pat response when I'd use a vulgar word like "pee," would be: "Tootie, that's not very lady-like. You should say 'I need to use the restroom.'"

We also had to refer to "farts" as "fanny burps," which in my opinion is way more tortuous to a little kid than just getting the short word "fart" out and over with. Fanny burp just seems to linger on the tongue. Yuck.

But now that I am going to give my own parents a grandchild of their own, I can't help but get excited over how they'll influence my own kids. I know their relationship will be special and I know they will share something far different than my relationship with them.

Grandparents are just special, and today especially I remember Dado with love and fondness. She is always a part of me and even though I wish I could have made her a great-grandmother, I know somewhere she will be looking down on me, making sure I teach my kids to speak like proper young ladies and gentlemen, and encouraging my own crafty activities with my kids. Her gentle-loving spirit calms me when I worry about the future. Somehow I just feel comforted knowing that she loved me and remembering what she was like.

It's Friday...I'm Pregnant

Oh, the many joys that come with being pregnant. Yes, it is a beautiful thing but there are so many things about making a little human that no one tells you. And luckily, I am not going to tell you either...because most of those details aren't fun to read or write about. But it is just amazing how my life is affected already by this unborn child.

For instance, the timing of popping my prenatal. Ask anyone who takes a multi-vitamin, and they will likely tell you that you should not take a vitamin on an empty stomach unless you are hoping to feel junky and you enjoy puking. Being pregnant only heightens this sensation of dizziness and nausea. And you are always hungry. So not only do I have to remember to eat my Wheaties, some fruit, AND yogurt before I swallow my pre-nate to keep from ralphing, but I have to keep continually eating throughout the day otherwise I start to feel sick. (not the vitamin's fault, I don't think...) If I don't eat every couple of hours, I start to feel dizzy, and it's like the little pea pod is sitting upright in my stomach, with a fork in one hand and a knife in the other, banging the utensils on the imaginary kitchen table in my uterus, chanting "Me want food...me want food..." Okay, little guy. Tranquilo...1 Gala apple and some Sun Chips coming up.

Now I am not complaining, actually. I love food, but there are just so many things you have access to in a Century City high rise that sound good. Why isn't there an ice cream man in the vicinity of my office? Oh, to hear those bells chirping down the street.

Luckily, our office manager keeps a stash of Ritz Bits, Sun Chips, and granola bars on hand in our office, but when I really want a cup of mashed potatoes or a mini-pulled pork sandwich smothered in bbq sauce, what's a working pregnant girl to do?

I have been very fortunate with the nausea and have only up-chucked once so far, and I am positive it was because I took the vitamin on a mainly empty stomach, so I am not complaining. It's just that who knew someone could feel hungry ALL DAY LONG...and I still have 6 more months to go...

Too bad I work at A&E and not the Food Network...would write more but need a snack....

Peapod / AKA Alien Baby

Foreword: Okay, first off please note the previous two posts were written in late February/early March, before I knew I was exepecting....

Here's our baby timeline:

3/13 - The day after I got back from being in NYC on a business trip, I found out I was expecting.

4/8 - First prenatal doctor's appointment where we saw the heartbeat & had the first ultrasound.

5/8 - We heard the heartbeat the first time, which sounded like a freight train. Crazy!

5/13 - Then today, we had our second ultrasound and Kiko and I were both in awe of the little dude or dudette as we watched it on the monitor. We saw the little peapod actually moving around, which just made it seem so much more real. For the most part, he/she was sleeping but the dr. kept moving the machine around trying to wake it up so he could see it from other angles. It really does look like an alien (but a cute alien!) because of the big, buggy eye sockets. Ah, the miracle of life...
Most of the time today, the doctor said it was sleeping. We saw its little legs which were crossed at the ankles, almost like it was in a meditation pose. A couple of times it waved its arms and the doctor said it was doing the Macarena. Lord, let's hope not! Ha!
The only bad thing from today was that the nurse told me I needed to stop wearing high heels...Hmm...I think NOT.

I want an Oompa-loompa....NOW...

I want a baby. It’s hard not to obsess over something once you’ve decided you wanted it. Whether it’s a certain job, a man, or a new pair of shoes, I like to set my sights on a goal and then work hard till I achieve it. Maybe the same will be true with the process of trying for a baby. I know it’s not always easy and it doesn’t always happen right away (or ever, sometimes, I need to be realistic.) But it’s important to make the process of trying to conceive fun.

Side note: I like to get lost in thoughts of what my baby will look like. Will he have dark beautiful curls and smooth tan skin like my husband? Or will he inherit my family’s prominent nose and deep set eyes? What will his voice sound like when he cries, because I am sure occasionally he’ll cry….and what if he is actually a she?

While it is fun to daydream about what characteristics our love child will have, first we have to get him here. So what’s the best way to do that? Well, duh. I know how…but how often and when? Is there any truth to a special fertility diet? And positions? How do you get “to work” without actually making it feel like a job? I feel like it's something you just "let happen..." but we'll see...

My good girlfriend suggested getting my female parts checked out before we really get into it, like taking your car in for a tune-up before a cross-country drive…but do I just need to give it a try and then check our progress? I've never really been into to preventative autocare. I like to be more reactionary...

Bitten by the Baby Bug

“Beautiful linen crib sheets…100% organic cotton bumper...Ooh, click for alternate images. Wow...” Repeat after me: I will not look at nursery bedding online. I will not look at nursery bedding online, while I am in my office and need to be working. I will not look at nursery bedding online…and fantasize about my dream nursery…My dream nursery with Wedgewood blue colored walls, hand-painted animal silhouettes on the wall above the white wooden crib painted in lead-free paint, and the cozy eco-friendly glider strategically placed by the window…I will not do any of this…before I am even PREGNANT.

My name is Susan. And I want a baby.

Let me back up. I wonder if there are other women like me: young(ish), professional women who have always dreamed of having a family but have never actually been certain about when the right time would be to take that next step. I always figured the steps would be fairly simple: I’d have a stimulating, fulfilling career, marry a handsome, hard-working and compassionate man, and eventually we’d just know when the time was right to begin having a family. (Side note: I was raised and married in the Catholic church, so technically the time to begin having a family was right after the honeymoon, but that was never our plan.)

In this moment, I am more concerned about my own decision as a woman to know when the time is right to become a mom. And I am beginning to think that, like other things in life, there is no predetermined “right time” ---it just happens and you feel it and it’s right. And I think that time might be now. The signs are everywhere. About a year ago, my doctor started gently nudging me as my 30th birthday approached, hinting that I should really start thinking about starting a family. I was aghast. Was she joking? I didn’t feel like I was in the right place professionally or financially to take on the responsibility of motherhood. Then, she looked at me with her warm brown eyes and poker-face medical professional facial expression and said “Susan, it will never be the right time financially or professionally to have a baby. You just have to go for it. It will always mean sacrifice and it will always mean juggling priorities, but it will always be worth it.” Her words stuck with me as I left her office, but it wasn’t until now, almost a year later, that I began to think that maybe I am starting to believe her.

The strangest thing now is that while my husband has been ready since about 2 months after we said our vows, I have been the hesitant one. Because it is my career that will be most affected. Because though I know he’ll be a wonderful, hands-on father, I also know that ultimately a bulk of the responsibility will fall to me. I’ll have to figure out how much time I can take off work. I’ll have to obsess over whether we let the baby cry it out. I’ll have to decide what to feed him (or her!), etc. There are just certain things I think always fall primarily on a mother’s shoulders.

So without a lot of forethought, suddenly, incredibly, I feel like Ally McBeal with that damned dancing baby…I am suddenly and completely obsessed with the idea of having a baby. It started off gradually when I would notice myself becoming inappropriately overly enthusiastic when I’d learn that an acquaintance was expecting. I’d want to know all the details – how long before they knew they were pregnant, what symptoms they were experiencing, were they going to find out the sex, what style did they want for the nursery décor, etc. Then this excitement evolved into longer stares at strangers’ babies at the mall or in restaurants, detours at the book store to the maternity aisle, quick browses through informational sites like babycenter.com and thecradle.com. Gradually, I started positioning myself to be spending more and more time with my friends who had babies and I was growing ever more inquisitive and bold with each visit. When I stayed with a friend and her three month old for a week and I found myself pleading with her to let me change his diaper I knew something was going on…something that I hadn’t consciously thought about or something that I hadn’t really decided on, but it just happened.

Something awakened inside of me and I can’t put it to rest.

It manifests itself in the endless online searches for the perfect nursery bedding and the tireless research of how to chart my basal body temperature. And while a lot of my desires to be a mom seem to present themselves through the urge to spend money on material items like baby clothes, bedding, books, etc. what I really realize at the heart of everything is I just want a baby to snuggle. Some little creature who will be a part of me and my husband, who I will care for and raise into (I hope!) a creative and compassionate human being. When I dream of the perfect nursery it is only because I picture myself in it, rocking my little one to sleep, looking into his or her squinty eyes and hoping the kid knows just how loved and adored he or she really is. And when I picture those walls it’s not because I am obsessed with home décor, but it’s because I love the idea of a home filled with busy toddlers and dogs, bustling with energy and intrigue and just generally full of life.

So here’s to the realization that maybe my life is about to change, if I am so blessed. Maybe someday soon my online shopping sprees will shift from shoe sales at Saks.com to burp cloth sales at Babies R Us. Either way, it feels good to acknowledge what is really going on and that somehow, slowly, I’ve been bitten by the bug…that pesky, persistent, want-to-be-a-mom bug. . .

What is fat?

What is fat? Who is fat? Is the woman who eats 3 Big Macs to console her depressed, unsatisfied existence on her way home from her telemarketing job fat because she weighs 250 pounds?

Or is the woman fat who maybe wears a wears a size 6 pair of jeans when really she should be wearing a size 8, and thus the jeans hug her hips so tight that it pushes all her extra "skin" over the top of her pants making her belly appear perhaps larger and more jiggly than it normally is fat just because she is not rail thin?

Americans are crazy about fat and thin. Everywhere you look, people are sadly and unhealthily at both ends of the body fat spectrum. It seems extreme cases of obsese and skinny are all around us. Take a trip to any amusement park on a weekend and you'll see gobs of overweight adults and children, indulging in too large of portions and sugary sodas and fruit juices. But open any magazine and the images on the pages are so different from the real world that these women barely look like people. Stick thin models who on a bad day wear a size 0, most of whom aren't older than 21, also have been airbrushed so that even the tiniest dimple or flaw vanishes with the click of a mouse.

Focus for a second on Las Vegas - the land of healthy living - and the MTV VMAs where one controversial pop star's attempt to make a come back had a very bad choice of an outfit. Or, was it an inspired choice?

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, let the record reflect that Britney Spears IS NOT FAT. She may not boast the wash board abs and toned - from -dancing -all day bod she once sported during brighter days in her career, but she is not by any means, fat.

It is appalling for me as a woman to read and hear all the attacks accusing her of being fat. Click here to find just a sampling of these attacks: Britney Backlash. I'd like to see the majority of the people making those comments put on a black sequined bikini and strut around on stage in front of millions of people and then we'll talk about who's fat and who's not.

Now I am not saying I like Britney, or even support her lazy attempt to make a big come back, but what I do support is people promoting healthy body images.

What people should be talking about is her substance abuse problems, her neglect of her children, and the fact that she is so freaking lucky to be in a position where the world is watching her and she has the ability to touch people's lives and influence them, and she is too damn sick or blinded or whatever the excuse to realize the impact she could have on the world. Most people would die to be in her position - to make money singing and dancing and wearing sexy clothes. You've got a position of power - or at least a position in the spot light - use it to do something other than just hook up with college boys in the Downtown Standard pool, topless...

What Britney needs to do rather than spend time doing 1000 crunches a day like she used to, is do some serious soul searching and spend some time being a Mom to her children. Think about them first for a change instead of partying every night. And hey, maybe if she lays off the booze some of that extra belly flab will melt away and she'll look more like the toned sexpot that everyone praised her for before.

But even if she doesn't do this, let's lay off the fat jokes. If for no other reason then there are far better and more important things to criticize her for than her non-stick thin body and her poor outfit choices.

http://news.aol.com/entertainment/music/story/ar/_a/britneys-body-gets-brunt-of-insults/20070911064009990001