Whiplash, Vomit, & My Mother-in-Law

(written Wednesday, July 18)

Yesterday was one of those exceptional days.  While driving on the 101 Freeway, we were rear-ended, driving around 30 mph.  Getting in a wreck with your kids in the car is an entirely different headache then when you're alone.  This was my first time getting hit on the freeway (fortunately) and what was scarier I think than the actual impact was trying to get out of the way without getting hit again.

First of all, thank goodness we are all fine, and other than some tears and a wrecked car, there was no permanent damage.

In the moment immediately following the crash, the kids both started crying because the crash made a loud noise, and the dog was thrown from the front seat to the floor.  (If anyone has whiplash, she's going to have it the worst because she was given the biggest jolt.  Poor Coco!)  My maternal instincts were to go to my babies (2 1/2 & 8 months) and hold them, telling them they're fine and every thing's going to be fine.  But of course you can't do that on the freeway.  So they continued to cry...

While on the phone with 911, a tow truck driver came to "rescue us" as Joaquin says.  We finally get from the fast lane to the shoulder on the right side, both kids are sobbing, and of course now I have to get out to exchange information with the Toyota truck driver that hit us.  And both kids are still crying...

The rest of the story is not that exciting...I was in shock, the kids were still crying, I would tell Joaquin "everything is fine," and then he would tell Devereux "Everything is fine, Roo.  Don't cry...." through his own tears.

When we finally arrived back at home in Pasadena, all I wanted to do was lay on the couch and try to relax, or maybe even soak in a tub, but that clearly wasn't going to happen.  I had to put aside my own shock and nerves and tend to making sure they were happy and feeling comfortable again.

Once the kids were in bed around 8:00, I felt relieved that I would finally be able to relax.  Quickly I learned that wasn't going to happen.  One of them was up every hour, including Joaquin coughing so much around 11:00 pm that he threw-up all over the place....

My mother-in-law is visiting because Kiko is at the air force base, and while she was great and trying to help, of course all he wanted was Mama in his middle-of-the-night coughing/vomit fest.  Awesome.  I no sooner got him cleaned up, back to bed, and then it was Devereux that needed attention.

Anyhow, the rest of the details are nothing exciting; just gets chalked up to one of those parenting nights where Mom doesn't sleep.  A lot of things change when you have kids.  Your reaction to a fender-bender is no exception.  Again I am so glad we are all okay...and now I am rocking a mini-van as my rental car until our car is fixed.  Jury is out about how I feel about the mini-van, but it definitely gets the job done for now...

Week 2

Okay, so I've slacked on the updates but the Great Leopard experiment continues. I kicked off week 2 with a bang in this newly acquired leopard sweater.


I took the kids to the newly reopened Natural History Museum with a friend and her 3 little kids. The kids loved it and we laughed to ourselves when, while viewing the coyote display, my friend's daughter was so excited because there were bunnies AND coyotes in the same diorama; she proclaimed, "Look, Mommy! The coyote has a bunny in its mouth. How cute!" Ah, childhood naïveté. Why spoil her excitement with a lesson in harsh reality? We immediately moved on to the more inviting raccoon display. The best part of the day personally was that since it was the MLK holiday and Kiko was home from work, I was able to sneak in a Cardio Barre class. Man, I am out of shape, but it still felt amazing to have an hour to myself and to get a great workout in. I like to think the sweater helped motivate me to workout. Day 9 was a zebra underwear day, and day 10 I kicked it up a notch with some kick-ass leopard boots I forgot were in my closet.


These were some hand-me-downs from my mom and help me put an extra spring in my step. When you live in the city, you can't take yourself too seriously when you're wearing leopard boots. Days 11 & 12 were animal underwear days... - Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Days 5, 6 & 7

These last three days, I've taken the easy way out with my animal attire. Two days in a row I wore a thin leopard print headband from J. Crew, but I only wore it while running errands because when I wear headbands for too long, I get a headache. I also realize that leopard headbands (or any animal-print-accessories) seem to demand that the rest of my outfit be plain, which can get a little boring.

I am hoping to spice things up next week and branch out from my headband rut. I did discover that I have more animal-print underwear then I realized, so this may be my go-to clothing item for the next few weeks. When I have animal undies on, I can wear anything from a dress to workout clothes over them, and they are a nice, personal reminder to be fierce and fabulous, if only in my head.

Day 4

Wednesday I wore animal print underwear again...I forgot to take a picture of them before I put them on, and as a matter of principle, won't take a picture of them after taking them off, so you'll have to use your imagination. (Note - most of my readers are female so this is not meant to be exciting.)

They were black and white zebra undies with hot pink lace trim. Totally classy.

Nothing notable happened while wearing them, but it was day 3 of preschool for my son. He cried again at drop-off, but he seems very happy when I pick him up 3 hours later so we'll continue on with his preschool education...for now.

I was also able to get a little work done on an outline for a new script I'm writing, so that's 1 point for zebra undies.

Day 3

Today, my leopard item was


underwear. I only felt fierce and sexy in them for about 15 seconds when I was putting them on. The rest of the day I forgot I about them. I did not remember them when I was at the playground, or when the baby was spitting up all over the new shirt my mother gave me for my birthday. Oh well...maybe I need to wear visible leopard or there is no point. I was also thinking I should take a gander at the Kardashians' clothing line at Sears. I am sure there are some quality animal print items in that collection, right? - Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Animal Print Experiment - Day 2

Today I wore some lady-like bejeweled Tory Burch leopard flats. Who doesn't love a little blinged-out leopard every now and then? Actually, I bought them in Vegas so at the time, they seemed subdued.

These shoes don't really make me feel ferocious, especially because I usually just wear them with jeans and a white t-shirt. And after a while they hurt my feet, which in my mind, totally defeats the purpose of wearing flats. If my feet are going to hurt, I might as well wear high heels.

But today, after dropping Joaquin off at pre-school someone cut me off and turned left in front of me, nearly causing an accident, and so I flipped them off. Yes, I gave this a-hole the finger while honking at the same time. And it felt kind of good. Maybe being an angry driver is not a positive thing to come out of this experiment, but at least I tried to unleash something on that jack-ass behind the wheel.

It was certainly some un-lady like behavior for some very lady-like shoes...

Leopard Lady - Day 1

(originally drafted 1/8/12)

Today is my 33rd birthday and I feel compelled to challenge myself to do something crazy. No, I am not going to jump out of a plane or get a tattoo or anything really bold like that. But I thought it would be fun for the next 33 days to try to work some type of animal-print accessory into my wardrobe each day, whether it's underwear, a hair clip, or a sweater, etc., I am going to force myself to get in touch with my inner "animal" each day.

The thought occurred to me while my husband and I were having a much-needed date night last night for my birthday. I was so excited to be able to fully focus on him and engage in some adult conversation, since most of our days and nights are spent talking about our newborn and 2 year old. I was also excited to put on a non-nursing top and high heels. The heels I chose were leopard calf hair high heel. The rest of my outfit was understated - black skinny jeans, a white silk top and a red coat. But the shoes were hot. I don't think Kiko noticed them, but I didn't care. I noticed and they made me feel powerful. This morning we woke up at my parents' house, and I dressed in a leopard print sweater I've had for years. Coincidentally, I'd packed 2 leopard print items for the weekend without putting much thought into it and I thought about how the sweater made me feel... Since becoming a mom, like most moms and other busy women alike, I am terrible about making time for myself. My days and nights are spent changing diapers and practicing the ABCs, breastfeeding and racing Lightning McQueen, kissing my kids' boo boos instead of my husband. It's hard not to loose track of the person you were pre-kids, but with a little effort and a lot of animal print, I think I can remind myself daily that I am a lot of other things besides some one's mom...for some reason that sweater made me feel cute, care-free, stylish and a little silly, words I would not typically use to describe my "mom" wardrobe.

So here's my challenge for myself: Wear something animal print each day for the next 33 days...as a reminder to be fearless and strong everyday, and also not to take myself too seriously. Please note, I am not Snooki and I definitely won't do Jersey Shore or "Married to the Mob" Michelle Pfeifer-type leopard, but I think I have enough "classy" animal print accessories to get me through at least a week without repeating my attire. I am woman, here me ROAR......

;)

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

The Waiting is the Hardest Part?

Joaquin was born on 11/6/09, which was 12 days before his estimated due date (11/18/09). I was just over 38 weeks pregnant, and I went into pre-labor on a Wednesday.

Tuesday was my last official day in the office and we were having network testing for a pilot called THE QUICKENING. The actors testing for the lead roles were all a little thrown to see a very pregnant woman sitting in the room with them and I think many worried I would go into labor during their auditions. Fortunately, or unfortunately, no one's performance was earth-shattering enough that it brought on labor, but we did find people to cast.

The next day I had a meeting in the morning with one of the actors from THE CLEANER, the Benjamin Bratt show I worked on that only went two seasons on A&E. We met at one of my favorite places, The Alcove in Los Feliz, because I'd be working from home that day and wanted to stay on the east side. He had some show ideas he wanted to pitch me so so it made sense to take the meeting on that side of town.

Then I went downtown to meet Kiko for lunch. All the while, I was having contractions, but nothing major. They ranged from being normal Braxton Hicks to being mildly uncomfortable. Still, as a first time mom, I felt like labor was imminent.

That evening, I passed my mucus plug. Yuck! I wasn't prepared for that and freaked out a little when I saw it. Fortunately, our house keeper, Jorgelina was home, and she (a mom to 2 kids herself) reassured me that everything was normal. Now, I was convinced the baby was coming any minute and Kiko needed to get home. (I am strategically leaving out more details of this story for gross-ness purposes...)

That night, we went to bed, feeling anxious and excited, only for me to wake up just before midnight with more consistent contractions. These were the real things, I just new it, so we started timing them. They were ranging from coming between 4 and 7 minutes apart (strange for these early contractions, I know now) and NOW I really knew, the baby was on his way. We remembered from our birthing class that we should try to do something to distract myself in the early stages, so as not to run through our bag of tricks too fast. We watched FATHER OF THE BRIDE 2 on the TV and Kiko eventually feel asleep, but I stayed up all night, not able to ignore the excitement that our baby would soon be here.

At 6 am I called the doctor, who told me I could either come to the hospital to get checked or just wait till my 10 am appointment. I decided to try to wait it out for the office appointment, which gave me more time to clean the house and take care of last minute things. We went on a mad cleaning spree, because my brother and sister-in-law would be coming over to stay with the dogs over night. I needed the sheets to be cleaned, the floors had to be mopped and vacuumed. It was a sudden obsession. We left the house, saying a dramatic goodbye to the dogs and telling them "next time we see you, we'll have a new baby with us." Hospital bags in toe, we left the house.

Well, we were wrong. At the doctor, I was barely 2 cm dilated and she sent me home. I was so disappointed and also completely exhausted. She urged me to rest, which of course was impossible. I waited out the day at home with Kiko, trying to get stuff done and trying to relax, all the while feeling discouraged about when the baby would finally come. How will I know when it's the real thing?

That night, we kept our plans to take Matt & El to see a live taping of the NPR show "Wait Wait Don't Tell Me," mainly because our doula urged us to stay busy and keep my mind off things. We had dinner at Islands and I enjoyed a chocolate milkshake. My brother teased that we needed to call the radio show "Wait Wait, Don't Have Me," since I was having contractions throughout the performance. I think there was a part of me that truly believed Peter Sagal would be delivering my child. It didn't happen.

We went home after a fun night, and Kiko immediately passed out in the bed, exhausted from our "false alarms" the night before...I knew sleep was what I needed, too. If only I could force myself to fall asleep...

I lay on the couch, listening to my Hypno-birth tracks on my ipod, trying to relax and get in the zone, and the contractions kept coming.

Eventually, I started to cry, mainly because of exhaustion, but also because the intensity of the pressure started to really pick up. Not wanting to wake up Kiko, I kept to myself, but the tears kept coming. Eventually, I didn't know what to do and I worried that if I told him "this was it," he would not believe me after our previous experiences....I cried louder, convinced he would have to hear me and he would come to the den to rescue me. No dice.

I slowly walked into our room, leaned over the bed, and called "Kiko, Kiko..." He finally awoke, and rallied quickly to be an amazing support system, and yes, this was the real thing...

A little after midnight, our back-up doula, Joni, arrived at the house. We had never met until that night, but she assured me after going through one contraction together, we'd be like sisters...She wasn't wrong.
(Our original doula and my dear friend, Amy, contracted the swine flu and wasn't able to come near me or within a mile of the hospital, so she hooked us up with Joni.) I was initially skeptical of meeting someone new at this intimate moment in our lives, but Kiko texted her and insisted we get the help. I am so glad she was there.

We labored at home until about 8:00 am, at which time we all felt my contractions were coming fast enough that we could go to the hospital...well, it wasn't until about 5:40 that evening that Joaquin Porter Ochoa was born, so after about 19 hours of active labor, we had our little miracle.

Some day I'll write about the rest of the birth story, but for now what I am fixated on is this waiting...this pre-labor that can last weeks, days, or hours, depending on the individual. I find myself clinging to my experience with Joaquin's birth, replaying the events in my mind like a broken record, trying to remember the magnitude of every early contraction and all the other things my body was doing in preparation for his birth.

I reflect back to this because it is what I know, and there are so many unknowns in childbirth. My rational mind is trying to tell a logical pattern I can follow to help me know how this next birth is going to go. The thing is this - every birth is different and every baby is different. Though I had one type of experience with Joaquin, this one with #2 is already unique and different and I am realizing that no matter how much I try to get ahead of what my body is doing and to guess when she's going to come, it's really not up to me. Other than trying every natural way to induce labor I have read about, I have to realize that all I can do is be patient and wait...

She will come when she is ready and I need to be ready and rested whenever she (and my body and the other pregnancy gods) decide it's time.

In the meantime, it's so hard to just chill and go about with my life. I feel like at any moment, my water will break and it will be a mad dash to the hospital. But that's not the case. Though I am excited and anxious, I know patience is what I need to practice. Besides, today is Halloween, and I am determined to go trick-or-treating with Joaquin. In fact, I'd be heart broken if I had to miss out on it so now I am pleading with her to stay inside just a little longer...

Our plan was to take Joaquin to Disneyland for trick-or-treating one of these nights the past few weeks, but we just couldn't bring ourselves to pay the additional money it cost for the extra Halloween event...

So today we will wait...and we will do our Halloween thing with the soon-to-be big brother, and what will be his last Halloween as an only child...

Now if I can only learn to relax and enjoy this pre-baby time and realize that being pregnant at this stage is still probably easier than having a newborn.

Amen to that! Happy Halloween. Wishing everyone lots of treats...

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

A Day at the Beach

One of the many reasons I love living in Southern California is the ability to access the beach or mountains with a relatively short car trip. Last week, Joaquin, his auntie and I ventured to Santa Monica for a day of fun in the sun.

The weather was perfect, not too hot and not too overcast, and I had to keep reminding myself that it is mid-October and we are at the beach. Awesome!

I realized that Joaquin hasn't seen real waves since he was a smaller baby, so at first, the waves really startled him. If I would start to walk into the water, he would scream from the shore "Be careful, Mama!" or "Don't fall!" But by the end of our time there, he was gleefully cheering "I want to see more BIG waves!" Our other beach trips to Orange Beach, Alabama, Hawaii, and Marina del Rey all had calm, still tides so the crashing waves were a new thing to him.

Hopefully, we can squeeze in a few more fall beach days before baby sister arrives...

Dear California,

I am realizing now that I am home, I have left you all in suspense, wondering what I am doing with my daily life...Okay, that's probably not really true, but one thing I've been doing is counting my blessings that I live in California.

Since arriving back here almost 2 weeks ago, I have felt like I am in a state of euphoria. Sure, our state might be going broke, we might have earthquakes from time to time, and some undesirable air-quality in Los Angeles, but I'll take my poor, shaking, polluted-haze of a life in Southern California to that of anywhere else in the country. Everything just seems more beautiful since being back. Even the strip malls seem pristine and nice, compared to their Southern counterparts I visited in Alabama. The weather is gorgeous; Joaquin and I love being able to go outside once again without feeling like we are in a sweat house. Taking the dogs for walks, which was just part of our normal routine before leaving, now feels like a huge luxury, and even the Pasadena heat does not feel that bad compared to what we came from in Alabama.

Before I left, I questioned whether our small-ish house was ready to welcome another resident once the baby comes, and after living in our shoebox apartment in Montgomery, I feel like our house is Buckingham Palace...it feels huge. Okay, so the closets are still a little cramped, but all in all, it's nice to have some breathing room and it feels wonderful to be home.

I've been on a nesting craze trying to get ready for the baby girl's imminent arrival. We are setting up a playroom for Joaquin (and his future sister) in the detached office, and that is turning out to be a bigger project that I'd originally envisioned. We are also getting a new couch for our living room, so we will have a comfortable place to receive guests once the little one arrives. I think because I am not doing a full nursery this time around (the kids will share a room) I am transferring my nesting instincts to the rest of the house, unfortunately for our budget and my husband...

There is some sort of magical gratitude and newfound appreciation for home that overcomes you when you are traveling. I've experienced it while touring Europe and other countries, on trips when I've been in magnificent places, and yet still home seems like a paradise. Mainly because it's home. It's familiar and it's yours. Our 5 weeks in Alabama ended up being a good experience --- I use the adjective good here, not because my thesaurus is out of reach and I can't come up with more a descriptive, less banal word, but actually because it seems the only way to describe it. It wasn't great, terrible, life-changing, monumental, inspirational, miserable, fabulous, or anything else...It had its special times, and it had its "why me" times, but all in all, the positive outweighed the negative, leaving me satisfied with my label of "good." One other wife whom I became close with, and also struggled at times with their temporary situation, said of being a military-spouse (her husband is former full time Active duty) and of living in Montgomery, "Well, it certainly will make us stronger."

In some poetic way, perhaps it did. I guess doing anything you really aren't choosing to do might make you stronger. I knew we'd make it through, and of course though dramatic adventures we did have, we did manage to have a lot of fun along the way. We were able to visit with relatives we seldom see in Memphis, which was terrific, AND we even met some new relatives for the first time, who of all places, live just outside of Montgomery. (I will post on this later, because this was a highlight of the trip.) The best part was the new friendships we made, and for those, I am extremely grateful. But in terms of me being a stronger person, if anything, it has strengthened my bond with California. Of course this is where our families live, and this is where I've always lived, but there is something about this state that just grounds me here and makes me feel like myself.

Being back in my own bed was one of the best feelings of all...and now it is 4:00 AM, and even though I cannot sleep, I know the cause of my insomnia is not my pokey mattress or my fear that ants are going to crawl on my face while I sleep...(Did I post about the ants in our apartment? Yes, we had 'em.) My insomnia rather comes from the overwhelming thoughts that I am to become a mother once again, that we haven't settled on a name yet for the baby, and other wandering ideas that come in and out of my head when I should be sleeping.

Still, I remain awake, blissfully happy to be back home, even if I will feel tired all day tomorrow, at least I know I will feel tired in California, and that's good enough for me.

Memphis

It's Tuesday morning, and I once again am finding myself shockingly happy to be back in my Montgomery home.

After a truly wonderful weekend in Memphis with Kiko and Joaquin, where we visited with relatives, ate, saw the famous Peabody Ducks, ate, walked on Beale Street, ate some more, etc. I am feeling grateful we made it home safely and unharmed after driving through a treacherous storm last night. The drive home really made me miss my all-wheel-drive SUV that awaits us back in California, because that would have made us feel a lot safer driving through the storm last night. I can't keep track whether Alabama and Mississippi were getting remnants of Hurricane Katia, or if this was that tropical storm Leo effecting the Louisiana and other coastal regions, but whatever it was, there were downed trees, flooding, and accidents all along our 5 1/2 hour drive back to Montgomery from Memphis.

I am anxious to post pictures of our trip, because it was a really fun getaway. But for the moment, I am still shaking off the drive and really feeling happy we are safe and sound in our apartment. I dropped Kiko and Lt. Luongo off this morning at base around 6:30 and fortunately was able to get Joaquin back to sleep.

Back in Montgomery

I never thought I'd be happy to be back in my "Montgomery home" again.
Sure, the floors are still grimy. Yes, we picked up an ant infestation in the bathroom and the kitchen while we were in DC due to a hidden Cheerio or two under the bathmat and one under the fridge. (Luckily, since Kiko beat me home, he got the ant problem MOSTLY under control before we came home.) And yes, there is still that faint smell of musty cigarettes. Now, not only does our TV not work properly, but the dish washer is broken and my bedside table lamp is out of order...however, in the midst of all of these less-than-ideal circumstances, we are back together as a family in our temporary Southern home and I feel I can breathe a sigh of relief.

I never thought I'd be so happy to be in that springy, uncomfortable bed again, but at least now I am next to my husband and more importantly, I made it safely out of DC with a healthy child....Though I actually had a wonderful time in DC, the last few days were rough because Joaquin had a fever of 102 for three days. Sometimes I wonder if I am the only mother that thinks her child is going to die every time he is sicker than the last. Normally, I am a fairly laid-back mom, but when he was sick this time, it was the first time he's been really lethargic and not showing signs of his normal, happy, inquisitive, chatty self. Add to this worry the fact that we are in someone else's home, imposing on their generosity, without a car, 3000 miles away from our pediatrician and everything familiar to us, and I was a basket case. The poor kid has been dragged from time-zone to time-zone, to new, unfamiliar place, to new, unfamiliar place and he has been a trouper!

Fortunately, we went to Laura's pediatrician who was amazing. If I ever move to DC, Dr. FInkelstein will certainly my doctor of choice for my kids. We waited 5 minutes in the waiting room before they took Joaquin and me in. Both Dr. FInkelstein and his nurses were patient, kind, and very talkative, asking us all sorts of questions about Joaquin, what we do, our time in DC, etc. Turns out, Joaquin just had a bad virus and not an ear infection or strep throat, like the doctor first wondered based on his symptoms.

And his last fever (knock on wood) was at 4:45 AM yesterday morning.

So though the beds in our DC hotel and Dan & Laura's were like beds in the Four Seasons, I wasn't getting much rest in them because I was worried about my little guy.

Even though he was ill, and operating on little sleep, Joaquin was still a fairly pleasant travel companion. Sure, there was the two temper tantrums. First, he was upset because he wanted to get on the airplane and wanted to hold his ticket, so he sat down in the walkway repeating "I want to get on airplane...I want to get on airplane...I want my ticket." I could feel the glares of other passengers like daggers through my spine, as they prayed they were not siting near me and my heathen child. Then came temper tantrum #2, when we were seated on the plane and I broke the news to him that he did not get his own seat and had to share with Mama. Luckily, both tantrums lasted about 45 seconds and he quickly recovered. The rest of the flight he was happy, and is slowly grasping the concept of having to turn off all electronic devices until the captain says it's okay to use them. I explained to him about the light above our seats reading "Turn off electronic devices," and how it's not possible to watch Go! Diego Go!, Handy Man, or Mickey Mouse Clubhouse while these lights are on. (We have broken up with Dora, temporarily, after the Swiper incident.) He says to me, "Mama, turn off that light. I want to watch Diego!"
With every airplane he flies on, he's learning he can't always have what he wants when he wants it.

There is something about traveling that always makes you appreciate things getting back to "normal." And, quirky though this city is, I am enjoying my time in Montgomery and want to make the most of our less than 2 remaining weeks here. (Hooray for going to our REAL home in just a short time!)

I know this blog is like free therapy for me and to any of you who actually read it, thank you...I always feel better after I purge my latest adventures on this site and today I am feeling particularly grateful for a healthy baby and a reunited family unit. Oh, and minus our TBD Labor Day getaway, we only have 8 nights more here until we come home....) Cheers!

(pictured below is the charming house I stayed in while stranded in DC...Isn't it awesome? Though, not a great picture...) Thanks again, Dan, Laura, & Siena!


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Hurricane Irene

We made it through hurricane Irene, er "tropical storm" Irene....Daddy had to leave us on Saturday night, just as the worst of the weather was coming into DC. Luckily, his whole JASOC class was able to get out on what was one of the last flights leaving DC that night.

Joaquin and I were supposed to leave later and had to connect in Charlotte, North Carolina. So not only did it not seem likely that our flights would not happen, but Joaquin woke up that morning with a fever, which persisted off and on all day Saturday, so the best option seemed for us to stay in DC until Monday and wait out the storm.

Fortunately, we have amazingly hospitable friends in Dan and Laura as Joaquin and I shacked up with them the last couple days. The stranded hurricane house-guests took refuge in Colonial Heights. And throughout the storm, their house never lost power, so we all felt very lucky, as just a block away, houses were dark and streetlights were out. I don't know what we would have done without their kindness and I am truly grateful for their warmth and friendship.

Tomorrow, we venture back to Montgomery to spend time with Kiko while he finishes his last two weeks of JAG school, then it's back to California to get ready for baby número dos and to resume our routine. Hooray! Among other things, I miss our dogs so much it hurts...

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Joaquin & Siena

Joaquin giving Siena a ride in her doll stroller. By the look on his face, he takes this task very seriously.


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Joaquin Showing his Teeth

This photo is taken from our favorite lunch spot in Montgomery. It's actually in Old Town Cloverdale, and it's called Filet and Vine. It's a bottle shop, butcher shop, and deli, and everything we've tried has been delicious.

We realize Joaquin often looks really serious when we take his picture, even though in general he is a smiley little boy, so I thought I'd share this shot.

Other notable things about Joaquin right now, at 21 1/2 months, are:

-He can count to ten, but he always skips 4, 5, 6, 7 & 8. So it sounds like "one, two, free, (pause) eight, nine, ten!" He loves to jump in the pool, and always counts like this before he jumps into your arms.

-If he's walking in between two adults, he'll ask for one of each of their hands and say "I wanna woo," which in Joaquin translates to: Please pick me up and swing me, saying "woooo!" while you do it.

-He is obsessed with Thomas the Train. He has two Thomas trains with him, and one is "Thomas," the other is "another Thomas." The same goes for both of his Percy trains. He likes to have Kiko or me "be" one, and he hardly ever offers for us to "be" Thomas. Usually, it's "Mama, you want to be Dash? Wanna be Dash?"

-He likes markers, too. He always offers for Kiko or me to "be" brown or yellow. He is particularly fond of the purple and blue markers.

-He likes to stack all of his markers together so they make a marker sword.

-He loves all animals, particularly dogs, cats, horses, giraffes, and dinosaurs.




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things i am learning from traveling with a toddler

saying "wee!" during take-off and landing makes flying more fun.

you can never have too much chocolate milk stashed inside your purse.

you also can never have too many napkins or shout wipes, because it is highly likely the over-abundance of chocolate milk will end up sprinkled on the outside of your purse, your shirt, or your pants.

there are a lot of kind people in the world; I learned this when a 250 pound retired Marine offered to let Joaquin put either his head or his feet in his lap while he (Joaquin, not the former Marine,) slept in my lap on the airplane. he obviously was a dad and empathized; either way, i appreciated the gesture.

it can be emotionally unsettling to watch someone take your car seat or your suitcase away at check-in, but this sadness is quickly forgotten once you retrieve them at the baggage claim. i look at the baggage carousel with a whole new appreciation after seeing it through the easily impressed eyes of a toddler. it's like a choo choo made up of suitcases that goes around and around...

airplanes are easy to confuse with the Disneyland Monorail.

everyone, even a stranger, becomes a fair target to play Peek-a-Boo with when you're on a plane.

yelling "we're so high, we're so high!" when you reach cruising altitude is perfectly acceptable.

if you wear sandals all day during travel, including on your walk through a dirt path in the park, when you take your shoes off at night your toddler is likely to tell you, "Mama, you have poo on your feet!" I guess that was his way of telling me it'd been a long day and it was time for me to bathe.


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Adventures in Washington D.C.

two californians arrived in washington, d.c. after getting up at 4:15 in the morning, riding on 2 airplanes, and almost losing our car seat at the airport, just in time for the biggest earthquake to hit DC in over 100 years!

our dear friend, laura, picked joaquin and me up at Dulles International airport with her precious 15 month old daughter, Siena. Siena and Joaquin haven't seen each other in quite some time, but Joaquin was sharing his new airplane toy with her in an instant and making eyes at her in the back seat.

joaquin also started calling Laura "Tia," which is what he calls his aunties on Kiko's side because "Tia" is aunt in Spanish. Laura is a dark haired beauty like his west coast tias, `but I am not sure if he was confusing her for his Tia Alana or Tia Livvie, or if he just felt like calling her Tia. Either way, Tia Laura it was and I think she was touched.

Laura drove us to her house, which is in a charming part of D.C. called "Colonial Village." The neighborhood is comprised of period 1930s homes, all with similar colonial architecture, and it's bordered by Rock Creek Park. I immediately fell in love with the neighborhood, and of course, Laura's hospitality made it hard not to feel relieved to be in someone's home after being in hotels and a seedy apartments for 3 weeks.

While we were feeding the kids lunch, all of a sudden the house started shaking and dishes rattled. (Now, Laura is also from California, and between the two of us California girls, you'd think we'd know what to do in an EARTHQUAKE! But we're in DC....there are no earthquakes in D.C.! Or so we both thought....)

We grabbed the kids from their chairs, then stood under one arched doorway then another, then she's like "let's go outside," which seemed like a great idea to me because this house was old...and likely has not been through many earthquakes like California structures.

As we scurried outside, her neighbors were all coming outside also, calling from their front porches, "Oh my god! Oh my god! Is this/was that an earthquake?"

Of course, then Joaquin, being the parrot-child that he is, starts saying "Oh my God! Oh my God!"

I tell him, "we're okay, we're okay," and then Siena starts crying, and Joaquin repeats "we're okay, we're okay." It was very sweet.

So we decide to move our lunch outside and have a picnic on her front lawn, just so we can be ready in case there's an aftershock. I am still not sure if going outside was our best move, but it made us feel a lot safer.

I am glad I arrived when I did, because apparently, traveling in and out of DC for the rest of the day was not easy. Kiko and the rest of his JAG crew got stuck in Atlanta as their plane was delayed, and public transportation and traffic in the greater DC area was a mess well until the evening.

I guess being from California, I felt like a somewhat seasoned earthquake veteran, even though it still got my heart racing and my blood pumping...

After the earthquake, we took a nice long walk through Laura's neighborhood. I enjoyed the architecture and also was amazed at how there is a woodsy park in the middle of Washington, D.C. Our capital city is pretty amazing! It was also wonderful to reintroduce Joaquin into being outside, since the weather in Montgomery has kept us more or less cooped indoors and near the A/C unit.

Side note - I am not the best on airplanes, but if there is anything to get me over my fear of flying, it was the idea of spending 5 days alone at our place in Montgomery, while Kiko traveled to DC with his JAG classmates...I've never been so happy to get on a plane and go somewhere!


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Second Trip to the Zoo

Joaquin & Maddy enjoying their ice cream cones.
Joaquin asking me, "Mama, you want some ice ceam?" (No, that's not a typo. That's how he pronounces cream.)
A far-away shot of the baby bison at the zoo. These animals are amazing to look at. "So cute," says Joaquin.
And here is Joaquin with the baby Maddy loaned him. He was putting her to sleep by pressing her eye-lids closed. Good practice for baby sister!

Things I've Noticed in Montgomery

-There are a lot of billboards for hunting conventions and gun shows.

-There is not a general sense of concern for the planet. If you take a reusable grocery sack to the Winn Dixie, they'll bag your groceries in plastic, then put your plastic bags inside your reusable bags, unless you stop them in time.

-At Wal-mart, the checkers put only one or two items in each plastic bag, unless you intervene.

-They love their fast food restaurants. Some new ones to me are: Sonic, Steak & Shake, (awesome milkshakes, actually), Hardee's (same as Carl's, Jr.), Checkers, Zaxby's Chicken.

-Just like checking your egg carton at the grocery store, check your ice cream carton before you bring it home because someone may have tasted it in the store. Seriously, this happened to us. We got home and our carton of Hagen Dazs Chocolate Chocolate Chip ice cream had been pre-sampled in the store. Gross!

-They call pants "breeches."

- They think L.A. Stands for Louisiana.

-Moms might take kids to the bathroom to tinkle. (This brings back specific memories of my southern mother not allowing me to say "pee" as a little girl. A lady never says "I have to go pee.") Good think we are teaching Joaquin to say "I need to take a leak." Wink, wink...

-There is a Waffle House at every freeway exit.

-People in general are very friendly and talkative. Whether it's the maintenance man at you apartment, the clerk at Dillard's, or the host at a restaurant, they like to know where you're from, how long you're staying, how old your baby is, etc. They also like to tell you about their new Ipod Nano, their next-door neighbor's dog, and the farm they used to own in Mississippi. They are very warm and friendly, unlike in LA, and it's endearing.

-People drive fast. Really fast. This might be because there is hardly ever traffic.

-They are not used to ethnic-sounding names. "Ochoa" really throws them off, and "Joaquin" might just get you a blank stare.

Dora, Dora, Dora the Explorer...

Okay, so I am not even going to begin to touch on the controversial subject of toddlers and television, but let it be known, we let our 21 month old son watch TV. Now, it's certainly not a babysitter for him, but heck, the kid's been obsessed with Winnie-the-Pooh since he was 8-months old, and that obsession didn't just emerge from the books we read to him...although, we did read Winnie books to him quite often...

His latest TV infatuation is with Dora the Explorer. Okay, harmless enough, right? One of my friend's little girls, who's one very smart cookie with an extremely advanced vocabulary took a liking to Dora at an early age, so I figured what's the harm? She was identifying leather-backed turtles and jaguars by age 2, so something about this show must trigger even the youngest and hungriest of minds.

What I didn't expect was a new insecurity directly inspired from the show...If you're familiar with the program at all, you'll know that there is a pretty rigid formula for all episodes. One component of the show is that Swiper, the fox, "loves swiping," and often, will swipe whatever tool is necessary for Dora to complete her mission. Now, Swiper is not exactly evil, but he doesn't usually help Dora or Boots, her pet monkey, accomplish their goals.

All of a sudden, two nights ago, Joaquin became obsessed with the idea that Swiper is going to "swipe" his choo choos, his "B" (AKA blanket), or even worse, Mama! At nap time, he says, "Mama, Swiper going to get my choo choo trains?"

I assure him, "No, sweetie. Swiper is not going to get your choo choos."

Then he persists, "Mama, Swiper going to take Mama from me?"

It's both sweet and heartbreaking at the same time. How can I explain to him that it's just a show and that Swiper is not really bad? More importantly, he is way too young to understand the fourth wall. But all I want to do is not let him watch anymore for fear that the insecurity will get worse.

Is it because we are away from home, thus his insecurities are peaking because of unfamiliar surroundings? Or is it because he is really attached to certain things? I am no child-psychologist, but I definitely thought I had a few years before movies or TV started to scare him. Watch a horror film when you're older, or even a Harry Potter movie when you're 10, and then you and Mama can talk about being afraid...but now! Ack! What do I do?

(Of course, the worst idea I had was to play on his insecurities to get him to give up his pacifier. Since Kiko left for JASOC in July, he's been especially keen on his "paci." He even will ask for them by color, i.e. "Mama, I want my orange paci..peez!" It's the "please/peez" that puts me over the edge. We figure he'll outgrow it in time, but the thought did cross our minds...Would we be setting him up for a lifetime of insecurities if we told him "Swiper must have swiped all your pacis...." Ha, I think we'll opt out of that parenting trick for now, and just focus on making him comfortable with his boundaries with fictional characters.)