Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Wednesday's Shoes

Oh, and today's shoes are black patent pumps with contrasting white trim. I am avoiding the flats as much as I can...and I am loving my pink toes.

Finding out the Sex...or Not?

"To find out the baby's sex or not to find out the baby's sex"...that is the question.

We always said if we were lucky enough to get pregnant, that we'd want the gender to be a surprise at birth. It felt to my husband and me like this might be one of life's last great surprises...and then, I got pregnant...and something changed.

I HAD to know what was inside me. I needed to know just as much as the doctors knew about my growing baby, and learning the sex before the birth is just part of the information we now can have, thanks to modern medicine.

I did feel a little guilty reneging on the deal my husband and I made, saying we'd wait and let it be a surprise. But I really did realize that the reason I was okay with it being a surprise was because I always thought we'd have a boy first. I don't know why it is, but I just have always pictured us with a little boy. Of course, I'd love to be lucky enough to have a girl someday, too. I am very close with my own mom, and plus, I think girls take care of their moms when they get old. So yes, for purely selfish reasons, I hope I someday have a little girl, but I've always, always always pictured our first baby having a weenie. So I thought, "Okay, let's not find out the gender. Because it's going to be a boy, anyway."

Secretly, for the past couple of years, I have been stashing away baby boy clothing that I find on clearance sale, and my husband has already started a sizeable collection of Star Wars, Lakers, & Dodgers onesies, which I have already informed him will be "bedazzled" if indeed we find out we're having a girl.

So now that we are about a week away from finding out the gender, I cannot contain my excitement. And of course, after all my preconceived ideas that we'd spawn a male child first, for some reason, I keep thinking this one might just be a girl. But therein lies the fun of not knowing yet --- even though we are not waiting until delivery day to learn which public restroom our baby will have to use, finding out next week will be a big surprise, too! And as I am quickly reminded by other new parent friends "Trust me, there are enough surprises that come with a new born that overshadow the surprise of which gender box they'll check."

I think everyone has to choose what's right for them, and who knows? Maybe with the second one, we'll decide to be patient and not find out until d-day. However for now, I am just giddy with excitement to find out what it is. We have already picked out our nursery bedding options, and depending on what it is, we will pull the trigger and make the purchase and then we can really get started on our dream nursery. And I really think I'll connect with the baby more once I know all there is to know about it at this stage.

Apparently, there is a new over-the-counter test from CVS drugs that can detect the baby's gender with an 80% accuracy rate. I just found out about this last week, otherwise, if it was earlier in the pregnancy, I just might have forked over the $35 for a chance to find out earlier...Then I realized, that's at least 1/3 of the cost of the Burberry jacket I am saving up to buy for my baby...boy? Or girl? Oh who knows, either one will both look smashing in it!

Plus, at this point if I can't even have the patience to wait one more week to find out, then I'll never be able to wait the whole 9 months...

Monday, June 22, 2009

Red Shoes

Today, the shoes are red patent, low-heeled pumps. They are uber comfortable and help me with the Monday Blues because just looking at their bright color makes me happy. The pink toe nails are a little too Valentines Day-ish, but I have to roll with it.

We had a wonderful Father's Day weekend, but now I feel very tired. It was special to see my dad and my father-in-law in the same day, although our visits never seem long enough.

I wish everyone a great start to their week and will be writing more soon...

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Now Showing --- my bump!

Well, I think I am officially showing...Passerbys on the street might think I just downed a few too many Sam Adams last night, but I know better. What I am rockin' is not a beer belly, a one-two many milkshakes belly, or just some extra fat (although I am sure there is some of that, too), but rather it is a tummy with a baby inside. Weird...
Getting dressed for work in the morning is starting to be a challenge because my regular clothes are getting tight and my maternity clothes are still too big. I am sure this won't be the case for long.
I have just discovered Old Navy Maternity clothes --- and while I have yet to try any on, they seem to have a great selection and are affordable. I also love browsing at the gorgeous maternity clothes at Twilite Moon and Isabella Oliver, but these are a bit pricier and part of my nesting instincts is a new found frugality. (Sorry, hubby, but this probably won't last after the little baby arrives...or maybe it will...we do have to pay to raise this child, after all?)
Anyhow, I thought since this blog is called "Shoe-zen" I would post frequently what shoes I am wearing, just for fun. Today's shoes are not very exciting at all, but they are comfortable, trusty black pumps made of faux snake skin. The say you can't really know someone till you've walked around in their shoes for a while, so here's the next best thing to wearing my shoes - checking them out!

Wednesday, June 03, 2009

Thoughts on being pregnant...

Is it weird that I sometimes forget that I am pregnant? I mean, can this really be happening? Is there really something growing inside of me? Just writing the words "I am pregnant" feels so strange and unreal.

It makes me wonder, at what point will it feel real? When will I really feel like a bona fide mom-to-be? Will it be when the first visible sign of a bump starts to appear? Or will it be the first time I feel my wee one kick, a possible sign that a mini-Beckham is growing inside of me? (Secretly, I am hoping for a Tiger, Kobe, or A Rod because I much prefer watching golf, basketball, or baseball to soccer….but of course, that’s not up to me…) I really want to know when it will sink in because right now all I feel is tired, hungry, and oh, did I mention exhausted?
I am cutting myself some slack, because after all, by some miracle called life, I am making another human. I joke with my husband sometimes when he gets home from work, “How was your day, honey?” I tease. “What did you do today?”

He answers with some pat answer, and I respond, “Oh, really, because I made some toes.”

All joking aside, it really is amazing that all this is going on inside me and I have little to do with it. Other than eating right (isn’t ice cream a grand source of calcium), exercising (online shopping can burn up to 100 calories an hour – more if you use Ebay), and trying to get as much rest as possible, I am taking a back-seat to what Mother Nature has been doing for centuries. It’s like being on pro-creation autopilot. I know there are a lot of maneuvers happening beneath the hood, and though I am in the driver’s seat, I may as well be asleep at the wheel because my body is just doing its thang. You go, Mother Nature. Let me know when I need to push or do something else strenuous…but until then, I get to be along for the ride as new changes happen everyday for my growing baby.

I have a new sense of calm and peace, and while my life is not perfect, I am making a baby and nothing can feel more significant in my life than that right now. The fact that my husband might be sent away for 4 months for work, or the fact that one of my huge projects at my job might get pushed until the month I am due, well I can’t really worry about those things right now, can I? Normally both of those predicaments might send me into a frenzy, but now what good is the stress going to do me? All I can do is wait until I know for sure what is happening and then deal with the situations as they arise.

But what I do try to deal with on daily basis are the new and constant changes my body is going through, like my acne-of-a-6th grader, my expanding waist, and my uncomfortable stomach pains due to the digestion problem-of-the-day.

So far, I have been blessed not to have bad morning sickness or any other dramatic health problem. I realize what I have is a gift and I am intent on not taking it for granted.

The first week I knew I was expecting, I think I listened to Maxwell’s “This Woman’s Work” about three dozen times on repeat. I needed to hear a song like that to help me focus in hopes that the reality of the situation would hit me. But the truth is, even when my belly is so big I can’t see my own feet, or when the baby is kicking so much in my tummy I feel like it deserves to be grounded for acting with such aggression, I still feel like none of it will actually seem believable until I am in the delivery room, trying to bring this tiny baby into the world…and when I feel those contractions and hear that tiny cry, that is I imagine when it will feel so real I won’t even remember the acne, exhaustion, or feelings of some surreal creature existing inside me…it will finally feel…real.

Joy Feast Love

This is a picture of my fabulous writers' group, The Joy Feast Club, at Tula's wedding. We need a blond in the group, no?

Baby's First Wedding

On Saturday, Peapod attended her first wedding. Our dear friends, Tula & Steve, wed in style at the hip Marvimon House in downtown Los Angeles.

We enjoyed a delicious Chinese banquet and had a splendid time with close friends, eating, laughing and dancing all while celebrating the marriage of a couple very much in love. Watching others drink wine was a bit torturous for me in my condition, but I did steal a few whiffs here and there. Also, it felt so crazy to dance with a little person inside of me. When my moves got a little rough, it felt like I had a swallowed a submarine sandwich whole and it was just rocking back and forth in my belly. Weird! The bride has a very cool design blog of her own,, so you can get a sense of the wonderful & stylish vibe of the wedding.