Thursday, August 16, 2012

A Crappy Day...Literally

Once upon a time, I used to sit in my plush office at the TV network and daydream about what it would be like to spend the week days at home with my kids.  I wouldn't feel stressed about pilot shoot schedules, replacing a director, or worry about the nervous-breakdown an executive producer was having on-set.  My focus all day would be on my children --- we'd read books together, sing songs, pick flowers, and delight in each other's love and affection throughout the day.

Then, my daydream came true.  Sort of.  And reality set in about what it's really like to be a work-at-home mom.

Today, after the baby's morning nap, I was gathering our belongings so we wouldn't be late for a play-date.

As I packed up the diapers, wipes, extra clothes, etc. I smelled poop.  My first question, "Joaquin, did you go poo-poo?"

He immediately responds, "No, Roo did."

In disbelief, (this one was a stinker,) I checked his Pull-Up, and low and behold, he was telling the truth.  No poo!

On to Devereux.  She passed the poop check, too, with a clean diaper.

Hmm, I immediately decide someone must have stepped in dog-doodie outside.  Everyone's shoes were clean.

Then I see our Australian Shepherd George, sheepishly walking through the living room.  I catch a glimpse of his back side and find a tangled mess of blue merle hair covered in, well you guessed it---CRAP!  Ugh.  The poor dog clearly had an upset stomach, I only wish he had the courtesy to deal with his issues outside.

I quarantined him in the kitchen so I could deal with the mess he'd already made in the living room, when I realized the dog standing in the kitchen was only making a bigger mess as gravity was working its magic... An elephant-like turd falls from I-don't-even-know-where and lands on the floor.  (Sorry for the grossness here, but I need to vent about this.  I am getting queasy just reliving the moment.)

George was banished to the backyard until I could clean him up properly and trim a bunch of hair from his rear-end.  First I had to make sure there were no traces of poop anywhere in the house.   Now that the baby is crawling, of course she inches her way towards the poo spots first.  Floors disinfected?  Check.

Cut to later in the day.  We return home from our play date and I accept my fate that it's time to finish round 2 of George clean up, which means a full bath for the dog and a hair cut.

Joaquin goes down for his nap and suddenly I smell that familiar smell of yuck again.  Did I miss some of George's mess from earlier in the day?

No, this time it was the baby, who thanks to being a great eater of solids, had made a complete mess of her brand-new car seat.  Awesome.  Poor baby had a "poo-splosion" as we call them in our house and she needed attention immediately....

So, yes, sometimes shit happens once.  But sometimes, if you're really lucky, shit happens twice.

And you deal with it.  You clean it up and move on.

And fortunately, I love my dogs and kids so much that all this crap really doesn't seem like much of a big deal at the end of the day.

However, I'd be lying if I didn't admit to having some moments where I sit at home, day-dreaming about what it would be like to spend an entire day in an office...reading scripts, taking phone calls, giving notes on an outline to a producer...and to not have anyone else's literal "crap" to clean up. (wink, wink.)