Thursday, January 13, 2011

Teething Bites - (originally drafted 1/11/11)

Okay, so my husband is going through basic training and sleeping 4 hours a night while marching all day and studying his officer handbook, blah blah blah, BUT I AM THE ONE CHASING AFTER A 1-year-old! Who's more tired? Me or him?

Seriously, I feel like I have no right to complain about being tired when I think about all he's going through, but man, am I beat! Two nights of a restless, teething baby and tonight I am a zombie. Not to mention all the work-stuff I've been cramming in while he naps and once he goes to bed. Being a full-time mom is hard work. And the teething...does it really last until they're 2? Yikes. Poor baby...he's like a drool-monster with icicles of drool dripping from his mouth and the big teeth he already does have protruding out from his little gums. It's cuter that I make it sound, but he really does channel Chunk from the Goonies and convinces me that any minute after the drool he's going to break out into the "truffle shuffle."

Monday, January 10, 2011

Looking on the bright side...

(Originally Drafted 12/30/10)

My husband soon will be leaving for basic training, or COT, which stands for Commissioned Officer Training. He has joined the US Air Force Reserves and will serve in the JAG Corp. So basically, he has to go to lawyer bootcamp for a month in Alabama. We have been married for 3 1/2 years and we have one child, a son, who's almost 13 months.

I have had to explain to my family that his joining the JAG Corp is actually an amazing honor for him and a wonderful opportunity to serve without making the full commitment of going into active duty. He gets to have his cake and eat it, too, to be trite. Deployment overseas is unlikely, and most of the year, he'll work his "regular" job at a law firm and not be subject to the whims of the service, with all do respect to the military. So some of my family members seem to think it is like he is going to race-car driving school or fantasy football camp or something like that, but then I must defend the decision saying it will be full of sacrifice for him and the rest of of the family, but that in the end it will be worth it for all. I keep telling myself this, hoping I will actually believe it. What helps is knowing how much it means to him to do this and knowing that I am doing everything I can to support my husband in his dreams and goals in life. But selfishly, I will miss him. I like having him around.

I try to look on the bright side and think of the positive things that come from having your husband gone for 5 weeks on the other side of the country. Here's what i have come up with:

1. I won't have to shave my legs as often as I normally do. Especially in winter, this is a plus because of all the goose bumps you get in the shower when you shave and there is a cold draft in the bathroom.

2. I will miss him. This fact goes on the positive and negative list because of course I will miss him very much and it will be hard not to see him, although sometimes the longing to see someone can be romantic and make you appreciate each other more. I am hoping this goes both ways.

Well, that's pretty much all I've got now. The most important positive thing to come out of this is I will have a happy husband, who is also an officer in the US Air Force. I know he's going to look damn fine is his uniform, so that could be a potential "positive thing #3," except for the fact that he just as easily could have bought a JAG costume and worn it around the house without all the fancy training that goes with, so I am not convinced this belongs on the list.

Basically, it is going to suck the big toe to have him gone. But life is an adventure and I am a big girl. I will miss him every day, (well, mainly at night because during the week, I don't really see him except for at night anyhow.) So, every night I will miss him like mad, but I will relish in his accomplishments and feel proud of him for this achievement and this sacrifice he's making.

But if I had it my way, we'd be like Paul and Linda Mc Cartney, and never spend a night apart...(of course until she died of cancer, (sigh). ) So, I am content just being us...and I know the best part of all of this will be when I get to see him again at his graduation. He will be in his sexy uniform and I will shave my legs for the occasion.

Sent from my iPad

Sunday, January 09, 2011

So Long, Dear...

Today is January 9th. It's the day after my birthday, the day after Elvis' birthday, a Sunday, and also the day that my husband left for Commissioned Officer Training (C.O.T.) in Montgomery, Alabama. This morning I woke up around 5:00 am to drive him to LAX so he could begin his journey to Alabama. He'll be gone for 5 weeks in total for this first round of training. I, of course, write this with mixed emotions. I am excited for him and all the new adventures that await him, but also sad for me and Jaq that we'll be without him. Still, with the wonders of modern technology (cell phones, Skype, email, etc.) we should be able to keep in close contact and I will relish all of our interactions. And one can only hope that the old adage about "absence and the heart growing fonder" proves to be true.
His departure for C.O.T. brings not only a big change for our family, but also coincidentally marks the beginning of a big change for me as I take some time off work. Most of you reading this probably know what I do. I am a creative executive for a cable television network. It's actually a pretty great job; sometimes I marvel at the fact that people get paid to do what I do. I mean, the hours are long and there is a lot of pressure, but the basic job functions I perform are: reading scripts, watching television, taking meetings with writers and producers, and then talking to those writers and producers (sometimes agents, too) about those scripts or shows that I've read or watched. We also approve actors for casting, and basically oversee all elements of TV production for shows on our air. I've been in the business for almost 10 years now, and it's one of the best jobs that I've had. I work with a lot of creative, talented people and deal with a lot of celebrities, pseudo celebrities, difficult personalities, and mega-egos, but that all comes with the job. I actually think I do well dealing with eccentric personalities, and at the very least I have some good stories to tell at the end of the day and can appreciate my relatively "normal" life.
But now, for the next few weeks, there is only one ego and eccentric personality that I care about, and it's that of my 14-month-old son. In one day, I've basically gone from TV executive in a fancy Century City office building, to stay-at-home mom and military wife. (This almost sounds like the makings of a TV show itself.)
So, while my big man is away, I am ready to embrace this adventure and make up for some lost time with my little man. Of course I am sad that I won't have my husband around, but I am comforted at least in knowing that his absence is giving me the opportunity to have some quality time with my little guy, and heck, check out the other half-live...all you stay-at-home moms watch out, because I am going to get a little taste of what this is all about...I know it too is hard work, but I am ready...

Wednesday, January 05, 2011

Happy New Year & going back to work

Happy New Year! Yesterday was my first day back at work after taking off just over a week for Christmas. Leaving yesterday morning to go to work was almost harder than it was the first day I came back to work after maternity leave. But yesterday, it was hard not because Joaquin was so tiny, little and helpless, but because he is so much bigger and more aware when I leave. And because he bawled his eyes out when I started to leave. He awoke only 10 minutes before I needed to leave for work and he would not let me put him down. My normally well adjusted 1-year-old was clinging to my side, gripping my hips with his little thighs like he was riding a pony bare-back, holding on with all his might, determined not to fall off or let his feet touch the ground. I handed him to my hubby, then went outside to the car, and the sobbing continued. It was heart-breaking, but I think it was harder on my heart than his. I needed my key-card out of our other car, so I spent more time in the driveway than usual, and the whole time I was out there, I could hear the cries from inside the house getting worse.

My husband then said he cried for an hour after I left. It makes you feel loved for an instant, and then you just feel awful that at that moment in their young minds, they are inconsolable and they don't understand why mommy is abandoning them.

Then, last night, after a really long day at work, I got home a little after 8:00 pm, so excited to see him again, especially after our tearful goodbye. And he didn't want anything to do with me. I tried to pick him up and he turned away from me, reaching instead for his daddy. This cold-shoulder treatment lasted only a couple of minutes, and then he was hugging me and saying "Mama" with some of his best annunciation yet.

I needed to get this story written down so when I am having a hard day with him, I can remember what is was like when I had to leave and remind myself how lucky I am to be spending more time with him.

Oh yeah, in case you didn't know, starting next week, I am taking several weeks off work, while my husband ships out for basic training with the Air Force JAG Corp Reserve, so these tearful goodbyes will soon be a distant memory.

But if I needed any reassurance that I was making the right decision to spend more time with him, I got that reassurance yesterday...