The Waiting

The waiting is the hardest part.
Everyday you see one more card.
You take it on faith, you take it to the heart.
The waiting is the hardest part.

Tom Petty knew what he was talking about when he said "the waiting is the hardest part." Even if he was talking about a woman, and I am talking about a job, I am so exhausted from waiting around for an answer.

I can see why it's so appealing to be your own boss, and not have to depend on someone else to give you answers about the future of your own career.

Since January 24, I have been in limbo with the WB and the new fangled CW network...I just want the plug to be pulled already. It has been agony...I am chained by a contract and prohibited from looking for a new job. Yet any day, I could be released, and the time on my contract would still end on the same day. Time is ticking on the hour glass and I am still here...

Almost all my coworkers have been laid off or have quit. Their offices are packed up and locked. Occasionally, a few pop in with cheery faces to check email on their way back from playing tennis or before going to a yoga class. I could scream "The Star Spangled Banner" at the top of my lungs, and no one would hear me. The halls are void of people sans the occasional messenger delivering one of the last rough cuts the WB will ever receive; there are boxes of abandoned tapes of scripts stacked against every wall in the halls. It is like the Burbank City Morgue, without even an undertaker.

Outside my office door sits a pile of unopened envelopes, mostly containing agency script submissions for clients I haven't read yet, but who I will be unable to help staff because I am not involved with staffing the new shows.

I crave being able to have a new focus - a new challenge, at work. I want to work, to have a normal routine where I can feel useful and important and like my thoughts matter. I used to feel that at this job. It was invigorating most days. The pace of working in television is intense, and you get in the groove of your routine, and are constantly reading and reviewing new matieral so it's always exciting and fresh. Your days are packed yet somehow you find the time to get EVERYTHING done.

Now I am planning a wedding, which is a welcome distraction since I have a bit more free time, but it doesn't take away from the fact that I still need to get my work-life sorted out...and soon...because the waiting...

SUCKS!